Oh hey there sexy guy, where's my guide?

I wanted to share about the first guide I met while in meditation, because it was a shock for me and yet a very profound experience that led me to meeting my guides and forming relationships with these energies that had been helping me my whole life and will continue to do so. Since this initial encounter I've met a handful of my guides, some who've shown up once and others who are consistent in helping me along my path.

I was at a 4 day retreat up in the mountains of San Diego in a beautiful cabin to dive into personal deep healing work and sisterhood. There were 6 women there and we each came from a different decade. Me being the youngest, I wasn't sure why exactly I was there. At night I asked myself, shouldn't I be out a party, going to see some live music, playing a show, or at least staying up late with a girlfriend chatting about the latest trends to laugh at, what events we were planning to attend, and how our visions of changing the world were coming along. And yet I found myself in this cabin with women who went to sleep earlier than I usually ate dinner. (If you were in this group and are reading this, know that I love you dearly, it was just a bit of a shock to my rock n' roll life style I was used to living). Throughout the weekend I learned why I was there and I got a glimpse of how these women would become invaluable figures in my next year of stepping into my spiritual adulthood. Side note: for anyone that is putting themselves in a place of discomfort because of age, race, religion, culture or anything else that would label you "different" from the others - good for you!! You will grow and expand in ways you could have never imagined before.

On the last day of the retreat we focused on inner wisdom and connecting with our womb. We spent time conversing with our wombs and even naming them!!! Haha so at this point you may be like wow this sounds looney, and if so then you may as well stop reading here because we're only going to get more magical, spontaneous, wild, and totally weird here.

P.S. My womb's name is Violette Sophia ;)

Anyways, it was the last one of the day and we were all exhausted from the work of the weekend and the emotional clearing we had ben doing. We sank into a deep meditation and very quickly I was floating away into this dream state. I traveled into a jungle and suddenly stumbled upon beautiful small lake. At this body of water we were instructed to meet our guide. I dove into the water while I waited for my guide and as I popped up for air I was startled to see a very handsome man standing away at the water's edge. He was medium height, sculpted body, golden skin, light brown hair, and bright blue eyes. He looked like a warrior in his body and a prince with his clean, symmetrical face. He wore a light, breezy white shirt and stood with confidence and ease.

Backstory: I was in this group to do a lot of clearing around men and male energy. I had just been through a big break up with my boyfriend of many years all after a very dramatic year where we had an abortion, we broke up, I declared myself as lesbian for a while, and he had a baby boy with another women on the way. Not to mention the years of sexual harassment and abuse that I dealt with growing up as a "pretty, good girl". I was in deep need of supportive sisterhood and I was OVER MEN to say the least.

SO WHY THE HELL WAS THIS HANDSOME MAN STANDING ABOVE ME?!?!

I couldn't believe he would be bothering me in my quiet sanctuary while I was supposed to meet my guide. I ask him to leave and he silently stood there. Finally I got out of the water and we were transported to his mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful ocean. WOW! That place was incredible but I still was unsure of him and why I was there. No men for me. None. Not even the most handsome one that was standing before me. No thank you. I wanted my guide.

So I told him that and he (still silent, hadn't said a word) gestured for me to walk up the big white stairs to the outdoor patio. I followed him. There he finally spoke, "What would you like." He was holding space for me and I was becoming more comfortable and also noticed that I was getting tired from the long journey.

"I'd like to just lay in the sun." I told him. He simply pointed to a couch that was underneath the sun and silently walked away. I went to lay down on the couch and I fell asleep until I was woken by my mentor's voice bringing us back into this world.

I opened my eyes and she asked, "How was that meditation? Did you meet your guide?"

And it all clicked, he must have been my guide! So I shared with the group, "there was this super handsome man that came to me and he never approached me too closely but merely let me come to him. His patience put me in awe. His subtlety was calming. His tenderness and compassion like one I'd never experienced before. Wow, I really had met my guide in that moment and was given the gift of a new perspective on men and the masculine.

Never would I have come to that conclusion so quickly without really releasing into the surrender of the meditation. It's powerful how we can work through years and years of limiting beliefs in a simple, short meditation.

4 months after this meditation happened I was in a healing session that my soul sister was guiding me through. I was on a goddess retreat with my mom and our close girlfriends where we were relaxing, creating, and connecting for a week by the beach. My soul sister, Aweli pulled me aside in a furry one day and said, "Now's the time, let's get to work." We found a shaded place to lay down and she took me into a deep meditation. We went into healing this still opened and raw wound from the masculine and we asked all men to leave the space so I could work on my healing. Again a man came to us, and this time asked her if he could be present. She asked him to leave and he told her "I am here to help, I am one of her guides. I will not come close, I am only holding space." Now, none of this was communicated to me during the meditation. We go through the healing process, I cried, I laughed, I napped. Once I woke up I felt like I had worked through lifetimes of anger and resentment towards men. Aweli came over to me and asked me how I was doing. Then she began describing the man who had visited us and asked me if it reminded me of anyone. Immediately I knew it was my guide from months ago, still here and he had made himself known to her. Wow I really hadn't gone crazy before, I really did have this handsome man as one of my guides!

Since then I've created my own "Meeting Your Guide" Recorded, guided meditation. Create a safe space for you to really release into the meditation and allow your mind to wonder without judgement. Have fun and enjoy the practice! You'll never know who will show up!

Guided Meditation HERE

I'd love to hear how this meditation went for you! Share in the comments below!